Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Salute You Ms L!

One old big time liar customer called up today. Let's name her L. Come and think of it, I was once fell into her silly trap as I believe her as my customer, but not today.

"Good morning, welcome to HP, this is Kenny, how may I help you?"

"Oh, Kenny ar. I spoke to you last time. My name is L.", payback time! "And I would like to know when I can get my computer ar?"

"Hmmmm, L ar... according to the system, I can see that my colleague had already informed you that the delivery will be next week. And can I know what's concerning you?"

"No la, I just want to know if I can get the PC earlier."

"Well, like what my colleague had informed you, there's no way we can expedite as the goods is not here in Malaysia yet."

"But you know ho...", there she goes, "Last time I heard another of your colleague said that I can get my goods by today(Lie 1). And now you telling me this. I wonder hor.... is it that HP is lying to us ar? I so pity those people who are purchasing the computers from you all lar."

"Errm, Ms L ar, normally, our customer called in and asked for order status, we'll inform them about the delivery date. And for normal customer hor, they accept and wait till the delivery day."

"So you are saying I'm not normal la now?"

"Oh no, of course not lah. I know that you concern so much about your computer that you scared HP took your money and didn't send you your goods ma... rite?"

"Yalor yalor! That's why la I now asking. How ar? Anyway you can help me ar?"

*And so, I advised her again to wait for the delivery date, again, again, and again.*
**This call lasts 10 minutes plus.**

"So, is there anything else I can help you Ms L?"

"Hmmm... guess that I have no choice but to wait lor.(Lie 2)"

"Ok then, have a nice day Ms L!"

"duuu... duuu... duuu..." She hung up.

--------------------------- End of Part I -----------------------------------

I sent email immediately after this to all my colleagues, ask them to transfer to me the call whenever they receive a call from her.

And as per expected, she called back. My colleague answered. She transferred to me.

"Harlo Ms L ar, anything ar? Kenny here!"

"Ha? Kenny ar? Aiya! You know what ar? Just now once you put down the phone ar(mind you, she put down the phone first - Lie 3), got this number SMS me already! It's from 2999 (Lie 3)!"

"What did it say Ms L?"

"It says : 'You will die! You will die! You will die!'(Lie 4) like that wo! I received 2 SMSes already(Lie 5)!"

"Wah(sacarsticly), then how ar? You know who sent it ar?"

"I dunno lor! I think must be your senior J or that K.(Lie 6). I know lar it musn't be you course once you put down the phone, I straight away got the SMS already. Sure is not you(I know she want to say is me). How come HP hire people like J and K one? Agent Y told me last time he fired K already(Lie 7). Sure la K revenge now!" took a long breathe, "I called up to Celcom and they checked the number, they said is from HP wo(Lie 8)! They asked me to call mata to lodge a police report(Lie 9)!"

"Oh really ar? Then you faster go to Celcom lar... Ask them print out the report, then you faster faster go lodge the report, then you ma can fast fast ask the mata come here catch people lor!"

"Ya lor, I think I want. Neh neh neh you see! Now I got 9 of the SMSes already(Lie 10)! Jior! Who is this lar?!!"

"Wah, got 9 already ar? OMG! Then you must faster go call mata lor! Ask them come fast fast, we have people here to talk to mata one! We can help them to catch the person who send the sms to you!"

"Must be that K la! I'm so scared now la(Lie 11)..."

"Don't be scared la... Faster call the police lar... I will personally help you to talk to police one!"

"Aiyo! Now you see got 6 SMSes already(Lie 12 - remember it supposed to be 9?)!"

"Eh?! I don't know I hear wrong or what, just now I thought you said 9?"

".....", silent for the few seconds, "You know hor... I must talk to your superior about this already la. I must call the mata also."

"Oh good good. I will help you at the same time. I'll go fill up form now, and get all the calls in between you and HP from the system and I'll hand over to the police. Oh ya, Ms L ar, YOU KNOW THE CALLS HERE ARE ALL RECORDED RITE?"

"Hhhh.... h... Ha? All recorded ar?" Conversation came to a halt. I smiled in vain.

"Ya lor, then how are? When you want the police to come ar? I need to faster tell my supervisor ler..."

"I think no need already la. So ma huan(Lie 13). I will wait lar... Better don't let me receive that SMS again(Lie 14)! Bye!"

"Have a nic...... Ms L", as she hung up. Talk time timed: 20 minutes and 14 seconds.

You know what? I just enjoy talking to her. All the time. Can you see how many lies she created within that little amount of time? And I really respect her for her creativity and her courage to talk big, till I informed her that all calls were recorded.

Desperate people are just damn good in reaching their goals. This is for you, Ms L.


AlbertBishop said...

hahahaha she dam stupid

Samuel said...

wow.. kenny i must say.. I really admire your wit... nice going with the "this conversation is recorded... haha.. seriously is it recorded??

Porcupine said...

Interesting lies that she has generated within that short period of conversation...
But then again, why did she lie wor?
So weird one...

And yeah, the "conversation is recorded" is a very good way to deal with her...
You da Botak I know!!!

buttercup said...

she is, to be dealing with me! haha! some more use enforcement! hahah!

LOL! It's really really really recorded, but not for temp staffs like us! LOL! hahaha! I'm telling the truth, just that I didn't tell her who's was recorded. hahah!

She was trying to get her computer faster. if you work in any of the customer service with delivery process, you'll know tht a lot of customer make lies, and she's the best so far! ahaha!

Samuel said...

wanna get her computer so fast for what?? such an impatient person? few weeks also cannot wait..

Anonymous said...

cool man..haha one good conversation with full of lies and sarcarsm..haha :P -sw-

buttercup said...

LOL! some ppl are just being impatience ma! haha!

yeap yea! tht call was fun! real fun!

Anonymous said...

wah, kenny, your brains works really fast lar... if it was me i really dont know what to say...haha... you got guts!

and for that lady, i think she is just lonely... -wl-

btw, dont have to reply, cos i dont see the replies wan... ahhaha

kavume said...

haha, stupid women trying to do stupid thing...mostly all those customer service sure got record down wan for investigation or survey or other purpose wan...think she is too free kua...

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