Thursday, September 07, 2006

Tired... I'm Tired

Well, first of all, feel like saying "Sorry" to those who are so caring and even dropped a comment for me to refer at. Why am I saying this?

Today once I woke up from my dream, this thing came into my mind : Never mind about the answer anymore. I'm a fool.

That's it and I made up my mind, not to do anything anymore. I'm really tired. Feel like a fool everytime. (Not to boast myself but) I'm thinking that, if she do have feelings towards me, then let her say it. I'm lazy, reluctant to do anything about this relationship. I never know what is in your mind. Tired of guessing.

I had got more things to worry and to do rather than just guessing what is in your mind. Since I was young, I had this in my mind. It's my last resort where, I'll contribute myself to any body/organisation, which needs me if I'm still single at certain of age. Be a bodyguard, soldier at the enemy line, or even send me to the deadliest place on Earth. Besides than my family and friends, I got nothing else to worry anymore. Rite?

You are making me very tired. I'm always hurt. See guys, this is my weakest weakness. Yeah, today it rained. The whole bunch of us want to take our dinner and it was kind of late already. No choice, but we gotta go in the rain with umbrellas. As usual, I'm always the last. I have my umbrella with me. 3 of us was there. The other girl came here and pick up the other girl, left me with her. No choice but to go with her together. I do feel thankful for getting such chance, for letting me to learn. But, so what?

I do hope that you'll release me from this torturing. I wanna live as a free man again.


dreamland said...

hey kenny.. don be unhappy ok..cheer up.. sometimes is like tht. in this life, we meet lots of ppl. someone make you laugh someone make you cry someone make you worry. all kind of ppl will appears in our life. jus treat her as a normal person,normal human,normal frens. don force yourself to forget or wat, trust me you will more suffer. jus calm down, let it go and let it be. if you feel tired with her,remember you still have lots of frens here. right??

kinwai said...

AW Fuck u man!! Wat the hell are u thinking??

God damned! U think the love of your life are just gonna drop from the sky and propose to u? Wake up silly head! So u gonna do nothing and let her do all the work? Crap! Tht's gotta be the lamest excuse ever!! Tired la, tortured la, bla bla bla.

Heck, if ever u felt that way, be strong. I felt that way too in the beginning, like may's not willing to commit herself and such. Jeff told me to hold on and look, we're such a happy couple.

Things may not always be wat it seems la botak. It can always change, for the better or worse. So wat if there are chances to turn worse? There's equal chance to turn for better as well eh? Now that, my friend, is life.

So botak, just hold on, give yourself some space and time. Perhaps u need to assure her and convince her that u're sincere. And NO, i can't tell u how to do that.

FUCK! If ever i find out u just let it go without a try, don't lemme see u again. Nay i'm not gonna punch u or anything. I'm so gonna tease u till u lose your mind.

Trust me, i'm capable of doing that!

buttercup said...

to dreamland:-
yeah... I just stepping down. hope to be calm. Of course, not forgetting everyone here. Thanks mina-san!

to maikai:-
yeah, very sorry to you maikai after so much effort you put in. I just felt very tired. I'm stepping behind, giving myself some space to think again, before I make the wrong move again. who knows i'm the one who is perasan onli le? LOL.. anyway, i'm really glad tht you are such a great help to me in these few days!

Martin said...

LOL Kenny,tell you what....U really need to give yourself space and time.I experienced the same thing as you but then it turns out I was wrong,I am only a friend to her.Anyway,when i ponder about it again,I felt relieved that i didnt get involve in a relationship,seriously.It depends on you la actually,i don't need another commitment at this time so i tend to avoid all this relationship stuffs.If you are ready to give her full commitment then go ahead and show her that you love her,but there is a risk that you fail and both of you can't be normal friends anymore.Speaking from experience only,haha...So think carefully first!

Anonymous said...

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. i am here to complain about my life. First of all, I would like to shout AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

BLOODY SHIT. WHAT"S HAPPENING TO ME!!?? WHYYY AM I SO APATHETIC? EMOTIONAL B*****. so weak minded.. useless.. cannot control my will. AGGGGHHHHHHHHH. WAKE UP! YER FOOL!
how are you to be succesfull!??

When i read this i shal remind myself.. what a fool i am.

buttercup said...

to "annonymous":-
don't worry. most of us are a biatch all the time. Things are out of our control sometimes. Don't always say that we want to success. Sometimes, it's good to be a failure, once in a while. Trust me. Let's savour the feeling of being a loser, a failure before we move on, ok? My dear brother, be strong!

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